Embracing Tradition Without Perfection: Reflections on the ‘Trad Wife’ Movement
The Allure of the “Trad Wife”
Social media is abuzz with trends surrounding the all-popular “Trad Wife” movement.
The trad wife, or traditional wife, is the one who starts her mourning’s by baking fresh sourdough bread and gathering vegetables from the back garden. Often seen wearing a dress and holding a baby in one arm and a chicken in the other…
The Pressure of Perfection
I have mixed feelings about the “trad wife” movement. Overall, I think it’s great—a beautiful public shift back to womanhood and tradition. Empowering, right? But like with everything else, social media has a way of making us feel small and our efforts inadequate compared to others.
Are we doing it right? Too much? Too little? The ugly truth of it all is that in the end, we’re going to be doing it wrong by at least 99% of people’s standards, and the other 1% who might want to emulate you probably also hate themselves just a little for not being enough like you. Social media really is so cruel in some ways.
Finding Balance in Imperfection
All or nothing? It might just be me, but I feel there is a lot of shame felt by mothers who try to be a “trad wife” but don’t have the resources to go all the way. What if we want to eat organic but can’t afford it? What about the mothers who want to homeschool but can’t afford to stay home? What if our homes are small and untidy and our yards too small for a family dairy cow? We wives and mothers need to normalize putting our best foot forward but not being 100% in on whatever the current “thing” is. Are your kids fed? Do they know, right now, that they’re fiercely loved and protected? I wish I could give a giant hug to every mama out there who thinks society has told her that isn’t enough. It is, and you’re doing great, mama.
A Realistic Approach to Tradition
An example of what I mean is that within our own homes, we eat our fair share of junk food. Who doesn’t love Friday night family movie time with some chocolate or popcorn? I’m not banning that in my house. But on the flip side, a big part of our diets consists of homemade fermented foods and drinks, such as kombucha and sauerkraut, full of gut-healthy probiotics. Who made the rule that we couldn’t have some of both? Why do we feel shame if we don’t commit 100%? I’ve decided that I don’t feel shame about it, and I’ll say it extra loud for the people in the back.
Seasons of Life and Flexibility
In my opinion, we need to do what is right for ourselves and our families, whatever that may look like, and accept that that may look different in different seasons. That might be a from-scratch meal in a cast iron skillet over an open flame in an off-grid cabin in the middle of who knows where, and it might be an occasional frozen pizza thrown in the oven because life is so darn busy sometimes and spending a little bit of time connecting with your children that night is more important than anything else. And that’s more than ok, it’s terrific.
The Bigger Picture
The most we can hope to do is try our hardest to live a life so that when we stand at our final judgment, we might be so blessed as to hear the words “Well done, good and faithful servant…”
The rest is just small potatoes, organic ones or not.
AMDG,
Emma Williams
Catholic wife and homeschooling mother, artist and storyteller. Romanticizing everything. Living liturgically and (somewhat) holistically within the walls of our little domestic monastery.
